Feather Awards

On Wednesday night we attended the glamorous Feather Awards. I’ve attended the event consistently since 2012, and I can comfortably say the 2014 edition was the best one since I started going. In 2012, the awards were held at Melrose Arch’s The Venue. If you know The Venue, you will know that it is way too small for the number of people that attend these awards. For the 2013 edition, they took us to Kayalami’s Theatre on the Track.  As the venue suggests, we were in a theater with entertainment and awards then drinks, canapés after, and lots of dancing , I found the  sitting arrangement to be stampede(y), the entertainment here was baus.

The Chevrolet Feather Awards 2014 were held in kramerville, Sandton.  With a new sponsor, it was evident that they went all out, The venue was beautiful and the event certainly felt more formal this year compared to previous years. The décor was amazing with themed tables. I sat at a table named/themed Frank Ocean. Looking around, I noticed there was a table named Zackie Achmat somewhere in the mix, the outside was so heavenly, see picture below (picture quality is poor)… I can sit there the whole day and daydream, while sipping on something’nyana.

*there is fake grass (angazi ibizwani) here on the roof top and you get a view of Sandton

The invite said 6:30 for 7:00 pm, kodwa I think the event started just before 10pm;  I can say that,  was not much of a problem as we were happy drinking the happy juice and nibbling on finger food as there was plenty to go around – including nice and fresh seafood.

I think the show might have delayed because of some diva celebrity who was late but needed to present an award. Kabo ma10 we were then ordered to take our seats, then the starter was served, and the show began.

Our hosts were the fabulous Sade and Akhumzi.  Sade made a joke about how Akhumzi needed to join S.W.E.A.T 4000 tltltl! Speaking of SWEAT, it has certainly worked for Mika, but he needs to dress for his new body. He looked like he was hungry in those baggy clothes.

Yho! While on that thought, the eye candy in the house was on another level.  My eyes were thoroughly washed. Ngiwagezile amehlo shem, even though we know ke that 75% of the room was …what’s the correct word again?

The Isibaya guy  (boots guy), what’s his name is HOT bathong, and le height yadumela hleng!

And then off to performances, Madam Gigi took the stage and did a number that I thought was Frank Sinatra inspired. It must be said, Somgaga is very entertaining, even though shim had limited air time this year.

There were also performances by aboKabomo, Busiswa (siyaJaiva les’dudla shem), FB (the lady that does the nice Tsonga songs who also performed at the Sport’s awards a while back). There was also a performance by some lady with sangoma like hairstyle (I think it’s Wanda Baloi) but I could be wrong here.

With all this, I thought the entertainment was relatively average, although people seemed like they were having fun.

Sports Minister Fikile “Razzmatazz” Mbalula won the Sport’s Personality  Award, and made a speech about this and that - gaaning aan about nothing,hehehe! Remember the gay rumour between the minister and Julius?  They made a joke about that too, whoowee! Zero chill emuntwini I tell ya. Simphiwe Dana won in the category she was nominated in, but the awkward silence that followed the announcement of her name.  I was also wondering ukuthi Simphiwe socialite of the year? Where? Anyway, the goody bags were left in the loo. It was an envelope like thing with condoms and lubricants inside; I guess some got lucky that night. It was original, but not too impressive.

All in all, this was an A great event. A standard was set for the coming year.

Qondi

Office Year End Party Guide

Year end is near and so party mode's in gear. Even companies have come to play in making year end functions a thing; a must. Some companies go all out to show appreciation to their staff members for their performance throughout the year. I am talking cruises, company holidays with partners and all weekend parties at an out of town venue. Others just organise a party nyana but booze in all these is a number one item on the menu.

Sounds lovely, however, I have seen and heard how this can either become the best networking event or worst disaster on note. So I have penned down a few things to consider when attending your company's year end function. Please add your own in the comments section, let's help others keep their employments beyond the festive.

Do's:

• Remain professional. Even though you are not in the office, these people are still your colleagues. The line stays.
• Consider the clothes you pack or wear to these functions. It is very important to keep those bum shots for another occasion. However casual the do is said to be. Your boss & male colleagues do not need to know you have smooth thighs. It will only lead to disaster.
• Keep the intelligent facade rolling. just because you are not in the office doesn't mean the big shots are not watching. Apparently some of the best/biggest decisions on staff are made during office getaways.
• Stick to what you know. You are not with your girls who might carry you home should things go wrong so try not to try out alcoholic beverages that you usually steer clear of on a normal outing.
• Hold your consumption in your tummy. Puking is not cute, especially when done in public around people you work with in an environment where alcohol is being served. Whatever the reason may be, try to keep it down at all cost.

Don'ts:

• Try not to be greedy. This is not the time to drink as much as you can. Trust me when I say alcohol has no manners, you will regret it.
• Avoid getting too comfortable. When we are happy we sometimes forget ourselves. There is no need to sit on a colleague's lap or to booty hop especially if the company is a small one with less than 20 employees. You can't live that down by showing up in heels and a suit the next day.
• Do not go to a company year end function in hopes of getting drunk and confronting that colleague who has been the cause of your unhappiness throughout the year. This is not high school, behave.
• Please please, do not confess your feelings to that crush. Heheni, you can't be shelaring these men. Truth is, if you confess your love, he is likely to entertain you, shag you and when you get back to the office you might get egg on your face and have to embrace the new tittle of "office slut" for at least a year.

by Queen Troll

Self service loving‏

So a little self service from me. I have tried to divide it in different categories and also gave tips on how to achieve this with your partner. The aim for masturbation is to help you know and understand your body, so you can guide your partner to taking you to cloud nine! Your man likes to see you climax! Its a different high for him and makes his experience making live/sexing/phucking even more mind blowing!  5 different ways to self service. 

P.S this is my opinion, not scientifically, psychologically or medically proven.

1. In public love

- This is when you do the number 8 cross legged sitting position, for bigger girls, you can use the chair or table leg to assist in getting this position right, put in some pressure on your clit by squeezing thighs together tight, make different movements, using both legs and hip... You need to be discreet though... Try this at home first before doing this in public... Meetings aka troll sessions will never be boring ever again! Panty liner is your friend to suck in the juices after...  

2. I am lazy love

- This is just clit stimulation.... That little been is a firecracker! Rub on it with a some pressure from top to bottom, and sometimes squeeze it from the side in a pleasurable way! This is quicker when already stimulated by some great porn! It can take less than 10 seconds! This is for those with men not so gifted down there, it will get your there with his cheese curl.

3. G-Spot love

- Know your g spot!! It is so close to entry, just by you bladder, it feels a but rougher than the rest of your vagina... Cares it, sometimes you will feel like you want yo pee... To fully get this right you need to be fully in the moment, the feeling is like an echoe! I found g spot to be easily accessible when doing doggy with my partner, or when i am on top, up right position, then leaning back holding on to his knees (not reverse cowgirl, normal cow girl)

4. Double trouble love

- Now this is my fav... You get to stimulate both g- spot and clit at the same damn time! Insert index finger to touch g spot and in circular motions while pressing on and rubbing your clit! Thus is magical if you can control both climaxes to happen at once! It takes alot of practice, because you can feel bit come along, and you can control the pressure on both spots... This you cab apply easily with your man... Laying on solid platform, close your legs, let him enter ensuring he his erect penis is pressing on your clit, he must not move, you then do sliding movements, not the up down movement, this will get both of you all teary! 

5. Dont wanna get dirty

- Use anything solid that can rub against your clit area, e.g folded socks, rolled up vest/ T-shirt. Place it on the tip of your clit area, and slowly hump in it from top to bottom, and sometime hold fir a few seconds to let the moment in... You can do this with clothes on! Easily achieve this dry humping on your man during foreplay, chilling on the couch... Lay on top if his erect penis and rub on him, clothes on and everything....

Make sure you wash your hands before and after. Dirty hands can give you infections!

Yours,

Self service doctor aka Makhadzi Fufzin

Live versus Online Shopping

As a woman, nothing beats going shopping. The sense of smell, touch and feel of items in the shops, all just sitting there and waiting for you to come exhaust your financial options. Be it a credit, debit card or cash. The feeling of handing over your money in return for an item you most probably don't need. The excitement of seeing "up to 75% off" written on a store window. Searching through various items in rails and shelves to find that one perfect item you had no desire of buying when you left home. *sigh* The adrenaline of it all. It all just brings a sense of pleasure to my thoughts.

On the other hand, convenience has become the thing. The thought of sitting on a chair in your home/office. Browsing through a number of items on the interweb, selecting desired items and have them magically arriving at your doorstep without you having to leave the comfort of your selected area. Mind you, you could perform transactions without having to leave your bed, taking a bath or even naked. This way of shopping does not limit you, it can be used to buy clothes, furniture, food and even a car. There is an option to virtually tour stores and homes if you are looking to buy. With this option in mind, why bother getting stuck in traffic just to get dinner when you can just click click and someone else will take the trouble of dealing with traffic on your behalf and before you know it, dinner is served without having to leave the house or going trough the troubles of trying to strap little Johny into that car seat he hates so much.

I must say, I have become quite comfortable in doing everything online. Even become lazy that if I can't get it online I would rather do without. Yes, I have had cons to online shopping. Things like shoes not fitting due to the style of the shoe and sometimes the quality being less than what I expected. I have become anal about standing in ques, even if there are just 3 people ahead of me. Don't get me started on crowds in shops during sales season. so for these reasons I choose online transactions.

However, I do realise that nothing beats personal interactions. having a real person to transact with, someone to talk to and get advise on a one on one basis. Also on the quality issue, it is sometimes better to touch and see exactly what you are getting.

Which method do you ladies prefer?

by Queen Troll

My Weekend in one paragraph

Happy Monday guys, hope you had a fabulous weekend.

Mine started off slow but ended on  high. Well sort of. The girls and I went to the Sanlam HMC Exhibition in Hyde Park yesterday. What fun we had. Champagne, Oysters & hautness were the order of the day. I was not ready to have that much of an open mind so I missed out on the oysters, but I must say the girls know how to kick their heels and enjoy le Good life. Got home and had to attend to a massive headache that must have been triggered by the heat and champagne. #Newbies

What did you guys get up to?

by Queen Troll