OH, I'M JEALOUS ?

Jealousy - A painful awareness of another's possessions or advantages and a desire to have them too.  Webster’s Dictionary

I saw her in our local mall almost five years ago, she was with her family in their older model family car, I think it was a Toyota Cressida. We're acquaintances Lydia and I, and come from the same hometown.

Fast forward to 2015 and she’s a married, uber stylish stay at home mom who drives a Range Rover, has a glamourous social life and loves [and owns] all things fabulous.
I know we're not meant to compare lives but damn, she’d made it and I was still struggling with attaining some very basic stuff in my life.

After we parted ways from our chance encounter, I narrowed down the ugly feeling I had inside, to jealousy. I was envious. This Facebook thing made it even worse for me, I didn't know how she got to where she is, but never in my life have I yearned to possess all her cool stuff, all the way right down to her cheapest earrings.

So how did I kill the green eyed monster growing inside me? I continued comparing myself to her….

Style

This woman knows her body and flatters her best features perfectly.

For instance, she never wore leggings, short skimpy dresses but keep it to long flowing dresses, maxi skirts or jeans.

So what suits me? Jumpsuits, high waist jeans, long flowing dresses, jumper type pants and maxi skirts. But the element of self-sabotage in me is always hoping and wishing I can wear short cute summer dresses and leggings knowing fully well that they don’t work thanks to the mild Genu valgum [knock-kneed, skere] situation that I have going on.

So from now on, I'm going for those jumpsuits in all shapes, colours and accentuating what I have.

I can check out Pinterest, watch the style channel [give the crime channels a break] and to make it more interesting, I might as well make this a fun mini project at home by dedicating one Saturday to taking out all my clothes, see what fits and what I can give away. As well as try different things with the stuff I already have, whilst checking what I need.

Accessories

I also noticed that she wears Sunglasses, like a lot! I've tried this but I've always hated anything over my eyes. Reports claim that the annual sales of sunglasses have increased 7%-11% every year since 2009 so this is a widely growing trend that I am not part of.

Therefore to deal with my FOMO, I'll casually pluck them on my hair because they're a great accessory and this will give me the same effect while suiting my comfort levels.

Hair

She looks good in short, natural hair or dreadlocks.  So why can’t I pull that look off…?

That’s because she has a tall frame, big build. So in her case a long, full weave would make her look even heavier – she knows this and keep to locks and natural hair.

I, however have a smaller head, face and I look like an eight year old boy in natural hair.

So I need to go out and buy that hair [times two packets], call Matilda and make an appointment to install the weave and granted, I’ll leave the salon looking like a goddess.

My BFF actually tried to steer me away from this topic, concerned as to why would I want to go all out and admit that I’m jealous of this person? But actually admitting it to myself led me to scrutinize exactly why and what I am jealous of? I chose to be realistic and acknowledge what I can learn from her traits.

Jealousy is a terrible disease, and this is how I self-medicated. 

By Pumi (member of the silentville tribe)

Forever Grateful

I'll try to keep this as short as possible cos I know the attention span of some of is worse than a flea's.

I need to express how grateful I am that I came across you ladies. The love and support you've shown one another, me included is amazing. I just recently went through some tough times, both personal and health wise. The love and care that I received from what one might call 'virtual strangers' was astounding. Yes we come here as an escape, but what has developed is truly amazing.

We have become somewhat of a family and I can honestly say I appreciate and love you guys. Yes, we fight and want to scratch each other's eyeballs, and like any family, there always the rouge ones. Underneath it all, we are all just young (coughs) ladies trying to navigate this thing called life the best way we know how.

I've learned, laughed, cried, pitied, shocked, worried and prayed for some of you. I am truly grateful to know you and to be part of this family.

Onwards and forward ladies and Pidoza, Siboza and Soothsayer.

by Toffolux

Easier said than done! Be a helping Hand....

Essay worth reading...

He works your psych,
To control your sight…
He manipulates your mind
To manage your decision making…
He uses his ruthless words
To instil fear,
To make you crumble to his feet.
You are worthless, weak, useless, good for nothing, a whore and all nasty negative word he uses
All you want to do, is be good for him. Because no one else will want your worthless bum
The useless MF…

You know you NEED to leave, but where to? How? When? Because I will go back… I am useless remember, I am worthless… Who will want me? Will my friends and family take me back?

Friends are tired of your drama, so you keep quite? You surfer alone… Your soul is dead.

Stop telling me to leave, tell me how to leave…

 BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

CLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP
KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK
Bruises….. broken limbs…. Missing teeth… Broken soul…

 

An abuser does not just wake up and start beating you up. A coward does that… An abuser is slick, he smart, as a matter of fact, he is a genius (Dj Khaled voice).

Where am I going with this?

NEVER TELL A WOMAN IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP TO JUST LEAVE.

What do you tell her?? How do you help her? How do you ensure she never goes back?

When I got out of my abusive relationship, I came up with his phrase, “Solution is better than Command”, to replace, “it’s easier said than done”.

Action Plan; (Googled solutions by Dr Phil, Link below)

• Know the phone number to your local battered women's shelter.
• Let a trusted family member, friend, co-worker or neighbours know your situation. Develop a plan for when you need help; code words you can text if in trouble, a visual signal like a porch light: on equals no danger, off equal’s trouble.
• Keep a journal of all violent incidences, noting dates, events and threats made.
• Keep any evidence of physical abuse, such as pictures.
• Hide an extra set of car keys.
• Set money aside. Ask friends or family members to hold money for you.
• Pack a bag. Include an extra set of keys, IDs, car title, birth certificates, social security cards, credit cards, marriage license, clothes for yourself and your children, shoes, medications, banking information, money “anything that is important to you. Store them at a trusted friend or neighbour’s house. Try to avoid using the homes of next-door neighbours, close family members and mutual friends.
• Take important phone numbers of friends, relatives, doctors, schools, etc.  

 

After Leaving the Abusive Relationship

 

If you get a restraining order, and the offender is leaving:

• Change your locks and phone number.
• Change your work hours and route taken to work.
• Change the route taken to transport children to school.
• Keep a certified copy of your restraining order with you at all times.
• Inform friends, neighbors and employers that you have a restraining order in effect.
• Give copies of the restraining order to employers, neighbors and schools along with a picture of the offender.
• Call law enforcement to enforce the order.

 

http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/543

 

Images:  Google Images

 

By Lufuno

 

ARE YOU IN THE FRIEND-ZONE??

I wanna talk about the friend-zone, cause I think people misuse and misunderstand the term 'friend-zone'. Let me begin by saying you can't be in the friend-zone if you don't know that you have been friend-zoned, this is very important. By design this is how the friend-zone works: 

1) you meet someone you like, Your Heart's Desire (YHD) 

2) like a real nigga you get their number 

3) You start chatting to YHD,

 4) Eventually you start talking on the telephone

 5) You go on a couple of dates.

 The relationship carries on in a blur... eventually you ask for more and YHD says "I only see you as a friend" at this point you have 3 options: 

1) you can tell YHD 'fokoff I have enough friends' (this makes you a lame)

 2) you can brush that shit off call the hotter, smarter woman you've been meaning to call, cause nobody is a 10/10.

 3) or You can step into the friend-zone.

 You see the friend-zone is a contract, it gets offered to you and you accept it. So if the friend-zone has not accepted the contract they're not in the friend-zone.

Men stop saying "that's my woman's friend, he's in the friend-zone" that nigga is not in the friend-zone, he's just friends with your woman and doesn't see the things you see in her, maybe he thinks she's a troll. Women stop saying "that's Jabu, he asked me out I got him in the friend-zone" cause chances are you didn't tell Jabu, I only see you as a friend as a result he doesn't know that he is in the friend-zone. Having friends of the opposite sex doesn't mean you're in the friend-zone. Being friends with your ex, or someone you used to want does not mean you're in the friend-zone.

WRITTEN BY  Anonymous Male

Happy Monday!!

Morning/Afternoon/Evening Family!!

I don't like my job... Anymore.... But I sure do love Monday... It means I am closer to being with.... aaargh NVM you guys wont relate...

My weekend in a paragraph..... hmmmmmmm I did not watch the news, so wont say much. Friday hooked up with friends I had not seen since 2012 and discovered we live in the same block of flats. After drinking indoors and running out of alcohol we decide to drive to the nearest location.


The drama after that!! I felt like I was in the movies... Will share in comments.

How was your weekend?
What did you get up to?
Who lahla'd?
Who got hitched?
Any Sis Dolly questions?

Wishing you a blessed and productive week...

By Lufuno