Jealousy - A painful awareness of another's possessions or
advantages and a desire to have them too. Webster’s Dictionary
I saw her in
our local mall almost five years ago, she was with her family in their older
model family car, I think it was a Toyota Cressida. We're acquaintances
Lydia and I, and come from the same hometown.
Fast forward
to 2015 and she’s a married, uber stylish stay at home mom who drives a Range
Rover, has a glamourous social life and loves [and owns] all things
fabulous.
I know we're not meant to compare lives but damn, she’d made it and I was still struggling with attaining some very basic stuff in my life.
I know we're not meant to compare lives but damn, she’d made it and I was still struggling with attaining some very basic stuff in my life.
After we
parted ways from our chance encounter, I narrowed down the ugly feeling I had
inside, to jealousy. I was envious. This Facebook thing made it even worse for
me, I didn't know how she got to where she is, but never in my life have I
yearned to possess all her cool stuff, all the way right down to her cheapest
earrings.
So how did I
kill the green eyed monster growing inside me? I continued comparing myself to
her….
Style
This woman
knows her body and flatters her best features perfectly.
For instance,
she never wore leggings, short skimpy dresses but keep it to long flowing
dresses, maxi skirts or jeans.
So what
suits me? Jumpsuits, high waist jeans, long flowing dresses, jumper type pants
and maxi skirts. But the element of self-sabotage in me is always hoping and
wishing I can wear short cute summer dresses and leggings knowing fully well
that they don’t work thanks to the mild Genu valgum [knock-kneed, skere]
situation that I have going on.
So from now
on, I'm going for those jumpsuits in all shapes, colours and accentuating what
I have.
I can check
out Pinterest, watch the style channel [give the crime channels a break] and to
make it more interesting, I might as well make this a fun mini project at home
by dedicating one Saturday to taking out all my clothes, see what fits and what
I can give away. As well as try different things with the stuff I already have,
whilst checking what I need.
Accessories
I also
noticed that she wears Sunglasses, like a lot! I've tried this but I've always
hated anything over my eyes. Reports claim that the annual sales of sunglasses
have increased 7%-11% every year since 2009 so this is a widely growing trend
that I am not part of.
Therefore to
deal with my FOMO, I'll casually pluck them on my hair because they're a great
accessory and this will give me the same effect while suiting my comfort
levels.
Hair
She looks
good in short, natural hair or dreadlocks. So why can’t I pull that look
off…?
That’s
because she has a tall frame, big build. So in her case a long, full weave
would make her look even heavier – she knows this and keep to locks and natural
hair.
I, however
have a smaller head, face and I look like an eight year old boy in natural
hair.
So I need to
go out and buy that hair [times two packets], call Matilda and make an
appointment to install the weave and granted, I’ll leave the salon looking like
a goddess.
My BFF
actually tried to steer me away from this topic, concerned as to why would I
want to go all out and admit that I’m jealous of this person? But actually
admitting it to myself led me to scrutinize exactly why and what I am jealous
of? I chose to be realistic and acknowledge what I can learn from her traits.
Jealousy is
a terrible disease, and this is how I self-medicated.
By Pumi (member of the silentville tribe)
