TOLAH Dictionary

After many attempt to get hold of Queen Troll for the dictionary, I did not manage to get hold of her. So I compiled my take of the TOLAH dictionary... I STAND CORRECTED. I just would not sleep if I failed to give you something nyana... I promised... So hear goes...

DDT – Don’t Do This, You are out of order chief.

Bzu - bisous-Mwah

Dump – An insulting way of telling someone that what they just said is EFFy’.

Troll session – When a blogger goes to a meeting at work.

Moist – When you are being sensitive.

Needy – Wanting to be acknowledged for no reason.

NYU – Bloggers we wish not to remember or acknowledge. The unpopular child... The Blackship

 

Pasta – Is Pastor, because Grandee liked Pastor Ndo..,tonton bouncy pasta on the video.

Big 5 – Most remembered blogger, who gets a minimum 5 summaries when only asked once… Oh, and they are missed when not around by 5 or more people.

Headboard and ottoman – A man without a heardboard or ottoman does not deserve “nice” things.

Team Bekezela – Happily married woman who will not leave their husbands, come rain or shine...

Number 8 – Quick horny fix anywhere…

TTT – Team Ten Thousand…. Ladies who want a man with deep pockets...

Ntashi – Cocaine… Baking Soda, I got Baking soda

Doti – A very pleasant way of calling all relationship status

Oh boyyy – Did You just say that?? Lame

Oh dear – This is typed with a huge sigh

Bhutbae – Aman who is 5-7 years older than you

MalumBae - 8 to 15 years older than you

BabBae – 15 to 50 years older than you

I cant relate – I have no experience nor care of what you are saying… And I will brag about it by saying this.

k. – Basically saying whatever… This is to annoy another blogger… The full stop is for disqus…

Girl Bye – putting a stop to a quarrel, but still come back for more

 

Not the cheating type - This phrase often used by naïve wives who think their husbands are not capable of cheating, because in their minds they live in isolation, and all the temptation in the world is just air, its there, but you cant see it or touch it...

 

Eating air - any food that is low on calories

 

The way my.... is set up -

 

Diagonal street - Where the moon is...

 

Silent pains - Something unbelievably funny, annoying or even painful to go through (Stolen from cools)

 

A Kiki - A RUDE name we for a blog owner assistant (NOT TO BE USE ANYMORE)

(Copy rights reserved)

 

Anymore TOLAH words you wish clarified...? I am sure bloggers are willing to assist... Lets GO!

 

PS. Today we TOLAPIC our knees, or Bare feet...

 

 By Lufuno

Weird/Unusual behaviour

So this "friend" of mine has these weird things she does... and here are a few

1. She wont fall asleep unless she is sleeping on her right side, knees folded, and hand cupping her "Cinderella."

2. She always find her hand cupping her boob, through her shirt inside the bra.... during the people...

3. She cries a lot... Like anything nje, makes her cry... I sometimes wonder sometimes if she is okay up stairs... Her husband shem is no longer fazed, just like everyone else around her, which makes her crying to get worse...

4. She counts anything that has a sharp corner... Imagine her in a house with tiles?? Worse she lives in a house with visible brick blocks... You will think she is watching the TV, but she is counting the corners of the blocks on the wall.

5. She buys high heel shoes... ALOT of them!! She has never worn 80% of them... She cant walk in them... She wishes to have walk in closest one day, where its like a museum and she just goes and watch her shoes... Did I mention that she googles shoes, go from page to page for hours looking at beautiful heels??

6. Oh, she cleans and cooks her house wearing one of the heels...

What are the weird/unusual things you do??

By Lufuno

Started from the bottom now we’re here

So you’ve made it, you got out of the hood and your kids will never set foot at a government school. Do you ever stop and think about your childhood and realise you were less advantaged, well….. I do for example:

* Toilet paper was a luxury, we had yellow pages nailed to the wall on toilet wall outside.

* I was never the first owner of anything be it toys or clothes.

* My friends mom would compliment her for playing with me (true story) .

* I remember hoping they would invite me for supper.

* I still hate the ice-cream truck, my friend would let me lick hers ONCE!!.

* I never had a sleep over because…… family home .

* Cheap paste like polony, cabbage, powdered milk, chicken on Sundays.

* Saved cooking grease, you would be frying eggs but it smells like boerewors

* When rand water came to install prepaid water metres, they asked us to hold the dogs so they could access the yard. My grandmother told them we are also scared of them, they bite.

* The guilt that you made it out.

* For those of you who grew up poor please share your memories

From Me (Silent Blogger, Hope you come out today)

 

 

MBFWJ

A friend took me out on Friday night to go googling, yeah man,  it was proper googling on the hot young hot white boys at some joint in Sandton, .well, see my friend is single and ready to mingle, all I can say by the end of the night I was proposing to the hot Irish man, not really but I was telling him how beautiful he is, I have not looked at white boys that way, but God damn! that guy had me speaking in tongues (not literally), anyway we ended up taking selfies and drank, and I decided to leave because, well I remembered my vows.

I have fortnightly runs with the girls, because we are preparing for the Oom die dam and the two oceans marathons, but I’m just doing a half marathon.  After the run I had to prepare for the MBFWJ 2015, off I went to the Constitutional Hill for the David Tlale show which he always has off site SMH!, on arrival we registered and went to the waiting area were there was cocktails compliments of Ciroc and there were other beverages, I quickly found my water because I was not feeling well after the 27 kilometers run in the morning ( I did not have my usual banana before the run, nor did I have pasta the night before) hence I felt very sick and could not take anything at the time.

Eventually the show started

King Tlale as his fans would say

I loved most of the ladies pieces because they were practical or red/black/yellow or blue carpet ready. But, the gents?? Judge for yourself,

 

From here we had to rush to Melrose Arch tor the 2:30 show, we got our tags and tickets and rushed to the venue where we watched the up and coming designers compete, of the twelve young designers, there were four who won a prize to be mentored for a year and there was prize money as well.  Madam Zuma announced the winners. It was happening (food and booze) at the Mercedes Benz marquee and I unfortunately had to leave because old age.

 

@Qondi, what does MBFWJ stand for?? *covers face*Yes, I also did not read, cop and paste chronicles*

 

 

By Qondi

 

Mzansi Magic weekend round up....

My Perfect Proposal

This week was another woman proposing to her man. I always wonder how this works, so is she also going to pay for her own lobola?

Lerato proposing to Tumi

Lerato, such a bubbly girl

I don’t know why they did not edit the part the cousin (Precious) flashes her red polka dot G-string.

Anyway, she did the whole dinner in the sky, used cupcakes to propose.

His reaction?  What kind of woman is this to propose? My mind switched off after that. But he accepted.

Love Back

Nkululeko wanting iLB from Mpumi Nkosi

He was caught cheating with one specific lady many times.

Girl did not have any time to entertain the dude…. She walked out shem… She aint got time for that.

He damaged her for life. She is NEVER taking him back.

So she changed her mind the following day, and she took him back!!!

 Our Perfect Wedding

A baby kiss led to a beautiful journey ever…           

My fellow Tsonga woman… “Maseve wa kala, hambi wo bhebhula jaha, maseve wa kala” *singing*

Wishlist

·         Suit

·         Wedding dress

·         Cake

·         Décor

·         Catering

They have a wedding planner. He still lets his mother see him naked…

The wedding was planned in three months.

Two gorgeous dresses!! My opinion…

Ladies change their mind all the time, but not with their man!!! Aiiich!! Smart bride…

Programme director announced his twitter and facebook handle… Hayi!!

There was a MICHEAL JACKSON Twana!!

Bhuti Thabang had to eat the cake and finish IT! Elakhe le kheke!! Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

This was a perfect wedding…. My opinion again….

 Rockville

 I am too tipsy to write about it… you guys can go ahead and talk about it J

How was your weekend? What did you get up to?

OH, I HOPE YOU LIKE THE CHANGES... Making I easier to blog from work...

By Lufuno