Article courtesy of ThickNqo’s request. Growing up is a trap hey we all know that, if its not dealing with the harshness of the economy its having to deal with relationships of all manners, friendships, relatives, lovers, bloggers etc. And we rub each other the wrong way or we do get rubbed the wrong way, that’s all part of life and we just got to find a way to forgive, let go and keep it moving. Otherwise we will be having lots of suicide and murder cases nje.
Forgiving yourself
This is the first thing that we have to deal with. Forgive yourself before attempting to forgive anybody else. We are not to blame for the bad things that happen to us, and you can’t beat yourself forever for the wrong decisions we take in life. I’ll give an example here that I once shared sometime ago. My baby daddy is the calmest person I know, he loved me, and gave me everything I ever needed or wanted. But what did I do, I let my furbing get ahead of me and I chose to chase a relationship with a person I thought was my soulmate (he wasn’t even 35 then, kiiiii). Needless to say that relationship did not last more than a year and I spent the first year of my baby’s life crying myself to sleep. I could beat myself up for that one mistake everyday, but no, I got to a point where I said, Ima, you have to let this go. We grow, we learn, we move on. It helps build your character, and it helps you open yourself up for better things.
Now , there are other sensitive matters, like for instance abuse at a younger age. Or rape. Or physical abuse from a partner. Some tend to blame themselves for letting such things happen to them, all I can say in this is, we are not responsible for the bad that other people do to us. Its not your fault, let the person who has wronged you deal with the guilt of their actions not you.
Forgiving others and letting go of grudges
We’ve all been hurt in many deifferent serious ways. Some have mastered the art of moving on, but others hold on to the hurt and let it consume them. There’s a popular phrase that goes something like, hanging on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean that they did not hurt you, no, you actually need to acknowledge the hurt, but DECIDE to let it go. Forgiving is not an emotion, it is a choice, a decision that you make. What’s the point of hanging on to the anger and keeping yourself sad all the time that person appears, or something? Choosing to carry a grudge forever keeps you from ever repairing the relationship and it keeps you a prisoner of that person. Long after you’ve forgotten what the other person actually did, you’re still focused on being mad at them because you’re stuck in that habit.
To be able to forgive others, it’s helpful to understand where they’re coming from. Like, try to put yourselves in that person’s shoes and see why they did what they did. In many cases, the person who wronged you might have acted completely out of character for some reason, and they might truly be sorry. It’s also possible that they don’t even know they did anything wrong! Now that does not excuse their actions, but, staying angry at them doesn’t help you in any way either. You have so much to lose because you shift focus from moving on with your life and try to find ways of making sure karma reaches their address. So in simple terms, (this has a potential of being a VERY long article so I’ll end it here), just forgive, and let go of anger, grudges etc, because it is the simplest thing to do. Ok, lets share more on the comments, I know you trolls won’t read something very long…
by Imanathi
