Hey friend, so you and your kiddies are coming to visit for the holidays? I am so happy *rolls eyes*
Regarding your kids, those precious little angels that you soooo adore very badly and love with all your hearts. They’re solely YOUR own and not mine. I am happy for you that God blessed you with this little munchkins, neh don’t get me wrong. But can we just address a few things here:
- The poo talk! I don’t care that your baby had liquid poo or whatever you will choose to call it today. It is gross, therefore you are a nasty person for even thinking that information is worth sharing.
- Discipline your own, do I even need to tell you this? I don’t care what it is you have to do, but please keep your nana in check.
- I am not your baby sitter. Yes I definitely do mind so please let us not make this awkward by even asking. I did my share of baby sitting when I was in high school (and got paid for it) and that will be it for a life time. I thank you for understanding this.
- So baby Johno is pronouncing every second word wrong and you think it’s cute and find it in you to repeat the words back to me? First of all, I AM sitting right next to you, so yes I heard it. Can we move on from it now? secondly, it is not even cute by the way, it just means that baby Johno is having retarded issues. Teach him how to say things right before he grows up to be that funny kid who can’t speak right.
- The noise. If you do not make your kids keep quiet at crucial times like…. well I don’t know all the time, I will tell them about the tooth fairy, Santa etc. You don’t believe? try me.
- Yes you adore the rascals, but can we move away from talking about them 24/7? I am not about that life, therefore I do not understand why all conversations revolve around them. Let’s rather talk about the length of time it takes for grass to grow, it excites better.
- The toys all over the place. My friend, how do I even say this to you? It is not ok. Ever stepped on a Lego block? imagine, now that that block belongs to someone else’s kid. Yes, I will get violent if it happens so we can avoid this situation by keeping the toys out of sight. better yet stop being stingy and buy your kids TV games. By TV games I mean PSP, this will ensure that they stay well out of sight while playing that.
- That baby talk you do. Why? Can your baby not understand normal talk. What is this “kaakaaaa” shit you do? Now we know who’s baby won’t grow up to be a rocket scientist!
- Lastly, I do not want to see a sight of your toddler’s used nappy. It needs to remain a myth to me!
Happy holidaying from Queen Troll
