A week ago we had an
interesting topic here about vjay douching...its an old topic that we can’t
seem to get enough of. Trolls keep asking
about the instructions to use the Chinese dried fruit and medlemon …a
question that grits @Lufuno’s beautiful firm tits.
I had a conversation
with my colleagues about this. Then 2 other ladies who works next door to us
joined. This is lunch time and we are relaxing, sitting outside, holding our
Rama and Rum & Raisin ice cream skhaftinis eating under the shade. The
first on the podium was aunty Dokey who told us vjay douching is common back home in Zims… (even the moons
there have a special, powerful mixture…which unfortunately she doesn't have
full details of…but I gave her an assignment to go find out and come back to share). I was
never ready for ! All I can say is, move out wena medlemon, you have stiff competition
dade!
From the
Matabeleland, I bring you ‘’the gauze’’. Yes, a simple gauze from your
First Aid box. Don’t underestimate it. You roll it (like rolling a cigarette)
and put it down there, leaving enough outside so that its easy to pull out. You
leave it for 15-45 minutes. It also helps cleans the vjay and once you take it
out, all the dirt will be out. This makes the vjay to be clean and as tight as
a bird’s no. 2 door.
When I got back to the office, I immediately stole 2 pieces of the gauze from our work First Aid Kit and when I got home. I tried it. And I must say, I was impressed with the results. My vjay was tighter…I struggled to put my index finger there…. I give the gauze 10 out of 10.
When I got back to the office, I immediately stole 2 pieces of the gauze from our work First Aid Kit and when I got home. I tried it. And I must say, I was impressed with the results. My vjay was tighter…I struggled to put my index finger there…. I give the gauze 10 out of 10.
2. The second on the list was ice. Just normal ice. You rub
it on the mouth/lips/entrance of the vjay and put it down there and voila! you
have a tight vjay…The Dique will enjoy the tightness kiii. I haven’t tried the
ice so I can’t mark it.
3. Now this one shocked me….I have heard and tried them
all but this one…! This killed me! And
its right there in our cupboards! This
is the Orange Duster ! You cut it into 4 small pieces and wash it to remove the
orange starch, dry it then you roll like with the gauze and put down there.
This one bathi your vjay will be tight, the entrance as tiny as a sewing needle’s butt, ubab’bae
will struggle to put it in and will ask if you have suddenly turned into a
virgin. I haven’t tried this one also.
4. Last but not least…I bring you something that ugogo used to give us as remedy for sore throat/tonsils! The other ladies knew about this one and each gave a review. Nothing negative! Bathi you take it and rub it (same method as with the ice cube….I like the fact that these things are easy to use….no hassles!) and you will have a tight vjay and have your bae screaming #Abashwebaby #WhoIsYourMama’’ to the top of their hoarse voice! Poor neighbours…..
So..there you are ladies (and gents!)….in Tswana they say ‘’dilo makwati ‘’ loosely translated ‘’you learn from getting advice/sharing/tips from others’.
N.B. @Mrs Jones
please don’t try these at home UNLESS you are 100% clear with the instructions!
So let’s all be great and give those vjays these once in a
while special treatments! If you can do the same to your face, hair and nails,
why not the vjay?
By Aisha
#NOTOXENOPHOBIA…..#HUGAFOREIGNER…..#SPEAKFOREIGN…#TAKEASELFIEWITHAFOREIGNER
